


Sotto Voce

by CanineKitten



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Betaed, Canon Compliant, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, dark take on the ss ship, introspective, uh... porn with long conversations?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-15 16:05:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19299103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineKitten/pseuds/CanineKitten
Summary: He wished things were different. They had talked about this before, and as of yet they were at a stalemate. Naruto wouldn’t leave Konoha, and Sasuke wouldn’t come back.So this was all that was left for them.





	1. Allegro

**Author's Note:**

> Sotto Voce = Adjective: (of speech, of a voice, etc) in soft tones; quiet
> 
> Betaed by heartsns ^^

Naruto felt restless. He had been counting hours and now minutes until he could leave work. But of course something had happened just at the last minute, and now Shikamaru was sticking his head in through the doorway again. Naruto just knew that he wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

He placed his pen down on the desk next to the document he’d just read and signed.

“What?” He said, unable to hide the weariness of his voice.

”Hinata’s here to see you,” Shikamaru said, sounding apologetic.

”Fuck... Right now?”

”Yeah, she’s been waiting for a while already.”

Naruto glanced at the clock. “Okay… Send her in.” He hoped she would be quick.

Hinata walked in looking fresher and more fashionable than ever; her long, dark hair lush and shiny, and her pale eyes nearly glowing with life. She had gone through a change after their divorce. She seemed more confident, and a lot less infatuated with Naruto.

It was she who had asked for the divorce.

Naruto had been devastated back then, but he could see now what a train-wreck they had been. He had dragged them down. All of them. It was good to see that she was getting along better without him.

He remained seated, hoping he gave off an air of importance so that she would make it quick.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” she said, clutching the lapels of her lilac coat. “But something came up. Can you take the kids this weekend? There were some last minute changes at work…”

“What? No, I can’t… You know I don’t do weekends.”

He worked every day of the week, and on weekends the kids didn’t have school or missions, so they’d just be sitting around, being bored while they waited for him to be done at work. Especially Himawari. Boruto would probably find some friends to hang out with rather than stay with his dad. He seemed to barely care about Naruto these days.

“Just this one time!” Hinata’s voice cracked. “Is that really too much to ask, Naruto? Just one goddamned weekend with your kids.”

Naruto swore softly. If it had been any weekend but this one…

“Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Hinata dried her eyes and gave him a wobbly smile. “Thank you.”

Naruto slumped in his chair after she left the room and closed the door behind her. He took a piece of paper out of a pile on his desk and scribbled down a quick message, then he called for Shikamaru and asked him to send it.

After Shikamaru left, he rested his elbows on the desk and clutched his forehead.

Fuck.

Today had been his first opportunity to see Sasuke again after almost half a year. Now he had to look after his kids instead. He felt bad about not being happier about spending time with his kids, but at least he saw them fairly regularly. Sasuke he almost never got to see.

 

\-----

 

The next day he got an answer from Sasuke.

_ Meet me on Monday. _

Naruto felt like jumping up and down in glee, but restrained himself. Shikamaru noticed his good mood as he came into the room. He threw one look at the hawk that sat on the desk, pecking on Naruto’s arm for a treat, and sighed.

“Should have known.”

Naruto went home early that day and treated his kids to dinner at Ichiraku’s and ice cream afterwards. He thought he even saw Boruto smile once.

 

\-----

 

On Monday, Naruto got off work early and hurried towards the tower that was their standard meeting spot. If they couldn’t meet up there at the same time, whomever arrived first would leave a note saying where he had gone off to. That way they didn’t need to risk writing their location in a letter that could be intercepted. 

They had a few quiet, private locations where they used to meet up. This time, Sasuke had left a note saying he’d be at the old, abandoned mansion a days march south of Konoha.

“I’m too old for this,” Naruto muttered under his breath as he set off towards the location. He worked out too seldom after he had become Hokage. His days were spent sitting on his ass signing documents or sitting in meetings. He was pretty sure the last time he’d been outside Konoha was the last time he saw Sasuke.

He hated to admit it, but he actually had to stop a few times to catch his breath.

Sasuke would never let him live it down if he found out.

 

\-----

 

Naruto waded through the waist high grass that surrounded the old mansion. The house had started rotting away, and what remained of the outer walls were covered with green lichen. The forest that surrounded the area looked like a looming shadow threatening to take over the place at any moment. Already there were smaller trees sprouting all around in what must once have been a meticulously well-kept garden.

Naruto passed a huge, moss-covered fountain. Beneath his feet it was still possible to see what had once been a gravel path leading up to the front doors.

Naruto slipped in through the gaping doorway and made his way over treacherous floorboards into the heart of the house. He ducked under a supporting beam that had collapsed, and climbed in through the doorway to what had once been a dining room. It was one of the few intact rooms in the house, complete with paintings on the wall and tatami mats on the floor. It looked pretty cozy with the fire pit in the middle of the room and the wall of screen doors in traditional Japanese style that let in a lot of light when they were open, like now.

Sasuke was not there, but his cloak, sword and bag was.

Naruto picked up the cloak, which was dusty and muddy, and held the still warm fabric between his hands. He pressed it to his face, taking in Sasuke’s faint scent.

He had missed him so much that he had thought he would go crazy. 

He placed the cloak back on the floor and went out into the back yard. The yard was so overgrown that he didn’t spot Sasuke at first, but then he saw a smudge of black as a breeze moved the grass, and immediately he felt his heart somersault in his chest. He approached Sasuke slowly, though one part of him wanted to tackle him at a sprint. A different, more mature part of him wanted to savor the moment instead. Wanted to prolong the excitement and let it build so that he really could get the time to feel how much he had missed Sasuke.

Sasuke was lying sprawled out in the grass, enjoying the last rays of sunlight from the setting sun. Nearby, the branches of an apple tree swayed gently in the soft breeze.

Sasuke didn’t move as much as a finger even when Naruto stood no more than a foot away from him. Naruto had no hopes about having managed to sneak up on him, though. Not unless Sasuke had become deaf since the last time they met. No, the reason why Sasuke was lying there so calmly, was that he knew that Naruto was there. He knew that as surely as if his eyes had been open because, just like Naruto, he always knew when his other half was close.

Naruto knelt next to Sasuke’s head and bent down to place a kiss on his forehead.

“I’ve missed you,” he muttered.

Sasuke cupped the back of Naruto’s neck and, without opening his eyes, tilted his head back and steered Naruto into an upside-down kiss.

“Tough week?” Sasuke asked.

“More like… tough month.”

Naruto kissed him again, pouring all his longing into it. He moved to Sasuke’s side and pressed close to him, taking over the kiss while Sasuke fought to catch his breath.

“Yeah…” Sasuke murmured as Naruto finally pulled away. “I can sense that.”

“It’s been a tough half a year, actually…” Naruto admitted. He had Sasuke’s eyes on him now, and damn, he’d almost forgotten how those eyes made him feel.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and cupped Sasuke’s chin. “It’s been so long. Too long.”

“I know,” Sasuke said.

He didn’t offer an apology for keeping away for half a year, and Naruto didn’t expect one, though he wished… He wished things were different. They had talked about this before, and as of yet they were at a stalemate. Naruto wouldn’t leave Konoha, and Sasuke wouldn’t come back.

So this was all that was left for them.

 

\-----

 

They stayed outside, catching up on each other’s lives until the sun went down. Then they went inside, made a fire and cooked some food. They ate a simple meal consisting of rice that they had stored there, and fried fish that Sasuke had caught in the nearby river while he waited for Naruto. They also shared a bottle of sake that Naruto had brought.

The evening was balmy with a faint and slightly chilled breeze that made the otherwise hot summer night more bearable.

Naruto caught himself constantly staring at Sasuke and thinking that he was wearing way too much clothes. He wanted to unbutton that shirt of his and uncover his collarbones first, then cover them with kisses as he slowly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, moving down his chest to his nipples…

His eyes retreated back to Sasuke’s face at the sound of his own name.

“Huh...?”

Sasuke did that invisible eye roll of his where he made it so abundantly clear how exasperated he was without moving a muscle. Naruto was still, after all these years, trying to figure out how he did it…

“Sorry, I got… distracted…” Naruto said.

He emptied his cup and poured them both more sake. Now his eyes got drawn to Sasuke’s thighs, slender and muscular where they strained against the fabric his pants when he sat down. His legs were slightly parted and Naruto felt a comforting wave of warmth slowly wash through his body.

This time when he raised his gaze to meet Sasuke’s, he found echoing warmth in his eyes. Sasuke slowly raised the cup of sake to his lips while he held Naruto’s gaze. He tipped the cup back and swallowed the entirety of its content. Naruto felt his throat go dry. His blood was rushing south at an alarming rate.

Sasuke set the empty cup down and leant back on his hand. He was sitting on the futon that they had laid out on the floor. Naruto forgot all about his own untouched cup of sake and scooted closer to Sasuke.

Sasuke watched quietly while Naruto moved closer until their faces mere inches apart. He slid one hand down to Sasuke’s waist while he leant on the other. Sasuke’s eyes dropped to Naruto’s lips before slowly rising to his eyes again, this time with half-lowered eyelids, his eyes glowing with a simmering desire.

Naruto loved to see that look in Sasuke’s eyes. He wondered sometimes if anyone else had managed to draw it forth before, but he had a feeling that the answer to that was no. He didn’t have an exact account of Sasuke’s lovers, and had never asked about it either, but he had gotten the feeling that the list wasn’t really that long. It probably couldn’t even be considered a list.

Naruto certainly couldn’t brag about having had many lovers, so it suited him fine. They had always been meant for each other. Anything that had happened between then and now were mere distractions anyway.

Naruto closed the distance between them and grazed Sasuke’s invitingly parted lips with his own.

His fingers slipped underneath Sasuke’s shirt and rubbed the skin over his hip bone. He felt Sasuke exhale softly and pressed closer, his tongue nudging the tip of Sasuke’s tongue. He dragged his hand up Sasuke’s side, his thumb stopping short of a nipple. Sasuke squirmed, arching his body ever so slightly up against Naruto’s palm.

Their kiss had become open mouthed, with Sasuke tilting his head to the side to deepen it. Naruto lifted his hand to cup Sasuke’s chin, holding him steady.

“I want to be inside you tonight,” Naruto whispered when he drew back, the sake making him bold. He gently pushed Sasuke down onto the futon and draped himself over him. “Is that okay?” he added, looking into Sasuke’s eyes.

Sasuke nodded. He had a slightly dazed look on his face. Naruto captured his lips again, and they resumed the heated kissing.

Sasuke was making soft, breathy sounds, while Naruto panted and swore softly as he battled with Sasuke’s clothes. He fumbled with the tiny buttons on his shirt. Sasuke tried to help him, but Naruto stopped him. He wanted to do this the way he’d fantasized about just a moment ago. He worked his way down Sasuke’s chest, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing the bared skin as he went.

He uncovered one nipple and licked it. Sasuke twitched. His hand came up to touch the back of Naruto’s head, which encouraged Naruto to nip and suck.

“Hah!” Sasuke gasped. He gripped Naruto’s hair. “Slow down.”

Naruto took a moment to reign himself in. Sometimes he got ahead of himself. He kissed Sasuke’s chest gently in apology.

He knew that Sasuke needed more time to warm up. He was more sensitive and less pushy than Naruto when it came to sex, and they had both learned the hard way to take it slower. In the beginning, when their relationship was still new and fragile, Naruto hadn’t understood why Sasuke suddenly pushed him away when he got into it, and they had often started fighting instead.

After some trying and failing, they found a way that worked for them both. Naruto learned to wait, and Sasuke learned to let Naruto know more clearly what he needed.

Naruto moved further down along Sasuke’s body, kissing his way down his flat stomach until he had unbuttoned the last button of his shirt. He nuzzled the skin above the lining of his pants, taking in the faintly musky scent.

He felt desire surge through him like a raging beast. He just wanted to feel Sasuke… Just feel him. His warm skin… Taste him. The saltiness of his skin… He did; ran his tongue along his abdominal muscles, and felt them twitch as he made his way upwards, his tongue flat against the warm skin.

He heard Sasuke groan. He was certain of it. It was a seldom but welcomed sound. In the darkness of their hiding place, where they were safe and secure, Sasuke let down his guard more easily. Suddenly, Naruto couldn’t wait to get Sasuke naked and…

He propped himself up on his hands.

“Did you bring lube?”

Sasuke’s hair was cutely tousled around his face, and he looked a bit flushed.

“Yeah…” he said, his voice a bit dazed.

He got lube and condoms from his bag and placed them on the futon. Naruto crawled up along his body, urging him backwards until they were both lying on top of the futon. Then he unzipped Sasuke’s pants and, after a quick look up at Sasuke’s face to ensure that he wasn’t moving too fast, pulled them down together with his briefs.

Sasuke laid back on the futon while Naruto undressed him. It took a moment to get the shoes off, but eventually he was completely naked. He lay with his face turned away from the now dwindling fire, so that it was cast in shadow. 

Naruto just admired him for a long moment.

He ran his hands down his thighs and leaned down, nuzzling the juncture between hip and thigh. Sasuke was fully erect, his cock lying thick and flushed against his lower stomach. Naruto hovered above it, breathing on it but not touching it.

Sasuke squirmed.

Naruto sat up. He knelt between Sasuke’s legs and gave him a mischievous grin when Sasuke stared flatly at him.

“Don’t tease,” Sasuke breathed.

Naruto tried to look as innocent as possible. “Me? I’ve never…”

Sasuke nudged him with one knee. “Undress. Or I’ll do it. With my sword.”

“Okay, okay!”

Naruto hesitated before he slowly unzipped his jacket. He placed it on the floor next to him with care, drawing out the time before he had to take off his t-shirt. Sasuke’s eyes were fixed intently on him, following every movement.

“Wouldn’t it be hot if I just… did it with my clothes on?” Naruto said, only half-joking.

Sasuke sat up, his eyes slightly narrowed. “Are you embarrassed to undress in front of me?”

Naruto chuckled weakly. “Of course not!”

He barely avoided flinching when Sasuke grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, and pulled it over his head.

“Hm…” Sasuke said.

Naruto fought not to cross his arms to cover himself. “Uh… Is that a good ‘hm’, or…?”

“You’ve put on weight.”

The words felt like a blow to his chest. “Thanks for breaking it to me gently.”

He made a grab for the shirt that Sasuke still was holding, but Sasuke flung it away.

“I didn’t say it was a negative thing.”

“How can it  _ not _ be?”

“It’s not like you’re getting fat. You’re just…” He poked Naruto’s not-entirely-washboard-flat stomach. “Softer.”

Naruto groaned. “Okay, I’m getting the shirt.”

He was about to stand, but Sasuke pulled him back down. “Don’t be stupid. I like it.”

“… You do?”

“Yeah.”

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto’s waist and pulled him closer.

“If you’d still been my rival, I’d have laughed,” he said, flashing Naruto a smirk. “But right now it’s actually… kinda… turning me on.” He moved closer as he spoke, until he was nuzzling Naruto’s neck, and then he was kissing his jaw and his cheek and his mouth, practically climbing into his lap as he pressed closer. Naruto lost his trail of thought and could focus on nothing else but Sasuke’s warm, soft mouth.

They made out like horny teenagers, grinding and panting. At one point Naruto ended up underneath Sasuke. They tried to get the rest of Naruto’s clothes off without breaking the kiss, but Naruto’s shoes were in the way so at one point Sasuke just sat up and almost tore Naruto’s clothes and shoes off in his impatience to get him naked. Then he was on top of Naruto again in an instant, resuming the kiss.

Naruto groaned and rocked his lower body against Sasuke’s so that their cocks brushed, but then he remembered what he had asked of Sasuke, and Sasuke had agreed to, and stopped.

“Wait,” he breathed. “Not so fast. We were supposed to…”

He searched desperately for the lube while Sasuke continued to rut against him while trailing kisses down his throat.

Naruto finally located the small, anonymous bottle of lube, and handed it to Sasuke.

Sasuke glanced at it and then he proceeded to nip harshly at Naruto’s collarbone.

“Ouch!”

“Don’t be a wimp.”

Sasuke snatched the lube and sat up astride Naruto. He opened the bottle and one-handed squeezed some lube into his palm.

Naruto mimicked Sasuke’s words with a grimace. “Don’t call me that.”

“Then don’t stare at me.”

That brought Naruto up short. “I… How can I  _ not _ stare at you? You’re sitting on top of me!”

Sasuke slid off him and kneeled next to him with his back to him. He looked over his shoulder and met Naruto’s eyes. “Don’t stare,” he repeated as he brought his hand in between his legs, gently circling his asshole with one lubed finger.

Naruto’s dick, which already had been pretty damn hard, managed the seemingly impossible feat of getting harder.

“Again: how can I not stare when you do that?”

“Just… Please look away or something. I can’t…” He gave Naruto a hard look.

“Yeah, okay. Fine.”

Naruto sat up and turned his back to Sasuke. Sasuke shifted closer immediately and leaned  his forehead against the back of Naruto’s neck. It eased Naruto’s brief annoyance at being denied watching. He listened instead. Listened to every small intake of breath Sasuke made, to every short, wet and almost imperceptible gasp, and to the occasional squelching noises that his wet fingers made as he fingered himself open. He swore he could feel Sasuke’s breath shiver against his skin.

“Done?” he asked when he felt like he had waited for an eternity.

“Can you take over?” Sasuke said, sounding slightly more breathless than earlier.

“Yeah.”

Sasuke laid down and Naruto crawled over him, making sure he did it without hesitating because he respected the fact that Sasuke felt uncomfortable being ogled like this, at least in the beginning stages. He didn’t mind it too much when they got more into it.

He leant on his elbow over Sasuke, keeping eye contact while his fingers, now drenched with lube that Sasuke had at the ready, explored the places where his eyes couldn’t see. One finger slid easily into Sasuke, and two fit to the first knuckle.

He leaned down and kissed Sasuke, playfully licking his bottom lip and dipping his tongue in between his parted lips, before suddenly pressing closed mouthed kisses to his lips.

Sasuke grumbled in protest and slung his arm around Naruto’s neck, his wet fingers tangling in Naruto’s hair as he held him steady and deepened the kiss.

His hips started rocking in time with their tongues, and Naruto let him do most of the work while he let his fingers ease carefully deeper and deeper inside as Sasuke loosened around him. He slid in a third finger, and felt Sasuke clutch him harder and freeze for a moment.

“Too much?” Naruto asked, giving Sasuke a worried glance.

Sasuke didn’t look like he was in pain, though.

“No,” he said, his voice slightly uneven. “No, it’s… it’s good.”

Naruto thrust gently and shallowly, still watching Sasuke’s face. He picked up every minute expression on his boyfriends otherwise so expressionless face. Sasuke looked gorgeous when he let his guard down a bit and his eyes turned warm and soft.

Then he broke the spell by leaning in to kiss Naruto with moist parted lips. Sasuke moved his hips more insistently now, taking in more of Naruto’s fingers than he had been comfortable with earlier. He breathed harshly through his nose, and had to take several pauses from their kiss to catch his breath.

Naruto just kept the same, languid pace with his fingers, unwilling to push Sasuke over the brink too soon. When it felt like Sasuke got too close, he pulled out.

“Ready?” he said. He was already rolling on a condom.

Sasuke just watched him with a content, dazed look, breathing through his mouth. His gaze raked over Naruto’s body with a dark, hungry look. It made Naruto shiver in anticipation.

“Ready to hop on?” he said, his voice gruff.

Sasuke snorted, but even his smirk had a hunger to it. “I wish someone could just get you a muzzle.”

Naruto froze for a moment. “That… would actually be hot.”

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. “Hm… like a gag?”

Naruto leaned over Sasuke and eased in between his legs. “I bet you’d have liked that.”

“I would,” Sasuke said.

He lifted his knees up and Naruto scooted closer, holding his cock steady as he pushed in. He was careful, knowing that he was wider than his fingers. Sasuke closed his eyes, a shiver crossing his features as Naruto pushed inside. He closed his mouth tight, and Naruto knew why. He also wished that Sasuke wouldn’t do it. He wanted to hear him.

The tip of his cock barely breached Sasuke, yet he didn’t feel him give just yet, so he eased into it. He watched Sasuke’s face intently, and caught the frown that slowly turned into an expression of soft pleasure. That’s when he pushed a little harder, slipping past the tight ring of muscle and inside of him.

They both moaned.

That soft gasp from Sasuke… Naruto loved that sound. That unwilling but unstoppable sound that slipped out of him without his consent. Naruto had to stop for a moment just to catch his breath and reign in his rampant desire. It really had been too long. Sasuke’s body was like a vice around his cock; a wonderfully warm and soft vice.

As he started moving, even though it was only shallowly since Sasuke’s body still was resisting him, he realized that he wouldn’t be able to hold out for long. It had been half a year since he last slept with Sasuke, and even then it had just been a short, frenzied rut before they had to part again.

This was the first time they had penetrative sex in… in ages.

Naruto nuzzled the hollow of Sasuke’s throat.

He eased a little deeper inside, and Sasuke let out the softest groan and clutched the back of Naruto’s head.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered, panting from the strain of holding back. He moaned and stopped.

“Don’t stop,” Sasuke pleaded. He cupped Naruto’s cheek with his hand. “What is it?”

Naruto shook his head. He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t look at Sasuke right now. 

Damn… He was so close, but this would be embarrassingly quick. Sasuke seemed to understand, because he didn’t ask more.

“It’s okay,” he said. “We have all night.”

Naruto nodded. His pressed his face against the warm comfort of Sasuke’s throat, and rolled his hips, thrusting shallowly. Sasuke turned his face so that Naruto felt his breath on his ear. Naruto groaned.

Sasuke’s body was so warm and soft against his. He felt his pulse flutter against his lips. He felt him loosen around him, allowing him to sink deeper inside, and Naruto knew that he wasn’t going to last.

“Sorry,” he bit out as he thrust in again, and came gasping against Sasuke’s shoulder.

The orgasm was so unexpectedly strong that he just lay there panting for a while, Sasuke’s hand making languid patterns against his back. He turned his face and kissed the side of Sasuke’s sweaty neck. Then he rolled off him.

For a moment they lay there in silence while Naruto came down. Then Sasuke faced him and said, “When will you be open for business again, old man?”

Naruto grumbled and shoved him.

“I’m not old. Thirty is not old!”

“Naruto, you look like you’re a hundred.” After a moment Sasuke added, “No offence.”

“Uh, offence taken? What do you mean-?“

“I mean that you look tired, okay? You look really, really tired, and…” Sasuke shifted closer. “I’m just worried.”

Naruto felt a flutter in his stomach. “You are?”

“Yeah… Remember that time I asked you if you wanted to come with me?”

“And just travel around for a while? You know I can’t…”

“But would you have liked to?”

“Of course!”

“That’s the problem: you don’t have time to do things you’d like to do. You don’t have time to take a vacation, or see your kids, or see me… How long do you think you can continue on like that? You’re working yourself to death, and for what?”

“Don’t,” Naruto said tiredly. He knew what Sasuke was about to say. They had talked about it before.

Sasuke said it anyway.

“You’re selling yourself short to the people who used to hate you.”

“That was before-“

“Are you really okay with that?”

“I proved that I was strong enough, okay? I proved it to them, didn’t I?”

“You shouldn’t need to prove anything…”

“Everyone has to prove themselves. I couldn’t have become hokage if I didn’t.”

“Naruto…” Sasuke’s voice was suddenly so soft that even though it didn’t carry far, it caught Naruto’s undivided attention. “Don’t let them use you. Don’t let them suck the life out of you and  leave you for dead. You’re too valuable for that.”

“This is my destiny,” Naruto said. “It’s my job. I have to fulfill it. I have to.”

“You’re talking like a crazy person.”

To Naruto’s surprise, Sasuke sounded pained.

“I’m not…” Naruto said, feeling confused. “It’s just how it is. It’s just… I can’t just…”

“Leave?”

“You know I can’t. I took on a responsibility when I accepted the position as hokage.”

“And you’re so confident in yourself that you don’t believe anyone else can take over the job after you?”

“What, do  _ you _ want it, or…?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sasuke snapped. “There are other strong shinobi that easily could have taken the job, and-” He abruptly cut himself off.

Naruto frowned. “And… do it better?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But you meant to.”

“… You have to admit that paperwork isn’t your forte. Neither is politics.”

Naruto sighed. Sasuke was right. Being hokage consisted more of paperwork and dinner parties than he liked to think of. He did miss being in the middle of the action.

“You said so yourself,” Sasuke continued, “You’re only thirty. Isn’t that a bit early to chain yourself to a desk?”

“… What can I do about it now, anyway? I made a promise…”

“Have you looked at the world around you? How much more can you do? This place has never been as peaceful as it is now, and I can testament to that. I’ve seen my fair share of the world, and everywhere I go, people are rejuvenated and places are being rebuilt. You saved the whole world. How much more can people expect from you?”

Naruto took Sasuke’s hand.

“You forget something. I couldn’t have saved it alone,” he said, looking into Sasuke’s eyes.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but there was a small, pleased smile tickling the corners of his lips. “Whatever. Don’t pretend to be so modest.”

Naruto rested his forehead against Sasuke’s shoulder. “We weren’t supposed to spend the night talking about this…” he said. “We were supposed to have a good time…”

Sasuke ran his hand through Naruto’s hair and kissed his temple.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

He touched Sasuke’s waist. “Wait… Want me to…”

He glanced down along Sasuke’s body, his hand shifting to his stomach, his fingers grazing his happy trail.

“It’s a little too late for that now. Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up later."


	2. Adagio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finished this a little later than planned, but here it is! There's fifty/fifty porn and deep thoughts, lol. Some darker takes on things like the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura. I hope you'll enjoy ^^

Naruto woke up again what could only be a few hours later, since it was still dark outside. It took him a moment to realize what had woken him, but then his eyes adjusted to the poor lighting and he saw that Sasuke was leaning over him.

“Mm… Hi,” Naruto said, his voice gruff. He ran a hand through Sasuke’s hair and pulled him down for a kiss. The fire had almost died out, leaving just a few embers to dimly illuminate the room. Sasuke was only a shadow against the faintly red background, though the moonlight that came in through the open doors cast a cold light on the side of his face as he sat up and straddled Naruto’s waist.

He kissed Naruto’s lips again before moving downwards, placing gentle kisses along his jaw and throat.

Naruto ran his hand down to cup the back of Sasuke’s neck. “Sasuke…” he murmured.

“Mhm…?” Sasuke continued with the soft kisses. A shiver ran through Naruto as Sasuke’s lips grazed his nipple.

“You can… um… You can be a bit rougher.”

Sasuke looked up at him from underneath his fringe. It was ironic, really. Sasuke thought Naruto was too rough, while Naruto thought Sasuke was too gentle. It was as though they never could find a middle ground. 

Slowly, Sasuke lowered his head and placed his lips over Naruto’s nipple again. Then he sucked on it and nipped at the hardening bud.

Naruto gasped.

“You liked that?” Sasuke said, looking slightly surprised.

“Y-yeah…” Even Naruto was a bit shocked that he liked it so much. Then he frowned. “Wait… Did you do that to hurt me?”

“No…”

“You did,” Naruto said. He could hear it in Sasuke’s voice. He sighed. “Listen… Maybe we should talk about this?”

Sasuke scoffed. “You just love talking.”

“I’m serious. We need to communicate better.”

Sasuke sat back on Naruto’s stomach. “I thought that’s what we were doing just now, before you interrupted with your talking.”

“We’re not exactly communicating well when you bite me thinking it’ll hurt, and I actually like it.”

“I always knew there was something wrong with you.”

“Sasuke…” Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s hips and pressed him down so that he was forced to lean on his hand over Naruto. “I like it a bit rough, okay?”

Sasuke looked away from him. “Is that how you did it with her?”

He said it so quietly that Naruto wondered if he’d misheard him. “Her? Do you mean Hinata?”

Sasuke tried to sit up, but Naruto insisted on keeping him where he was. He couldn’t let him hide his face. Sasuke was an expert at hiding what he felt. But if one watched closely, as Naruto had learned to do, it was still possible to catch his true feelings as they fluttered across his face for barely a second.

“No,” Naruto said. “No, I never did anything like that with her. We, uh… we had a pretty lame sex life, to be honest.”

Sasuke stopped resisting and faced him.

“I thought it was just how it was supposed to be,” Naruto hurried on. “I didn’t realize we were lacking anything. I didn’t realize until I slept with you the first time.” He could feel Sasuke relaxing slightly.

“I hope that it’s not something you’re just saying…” Sasuke said.

“No. It’s the sad truth.” He relaxed his grip on Sasuke’s waist and stroked his lower back instead.

“How was sex with her?” Sasuke asked. 

He wore a perfect mask of indifference now, so Naruto couldn’t guess what his reason for asking was. Usually, he wanted to hear as little as possible about Hinata. Naruto shrugged. “Okay, I guess. It was, um… quick. And kinda awkward. It was like we didn’t click, if you get what I mean? We just fumbled, and…” He shook his head. “Being with you is totally different. It doesn’t matter if we don’t understand each other all the time. When I’m with you, it just… It always feels right.” He thought he saw a small smile cross Sasuke’s lips, but before he could make sure Sasuke had leaned over him and kissed him.

“Smooth talker,” he whispered in Naruto’s ear. He kissed the side of Naruto’s neck, right below his ear, lingering for a moment to appreciate the way it made Naruto shiver (it was a weak spot, and Sasuke knew that), before he sat up again. “Okay,” he said. “You said you liked it a bit rough?”

Naruto blushed even as he felt excitement tingle through him, from his toes to the top of his head.

“Don’t think I don’t get what this really is about,” Sasuke added. “I know you. You’re so full of passion and desire. You think I’m a stick in the mud, right?”

“No!” Naruto tried to sit up, but Sasuke held him down. “No, Sasuke. That’s not true,” Naruto bit out.

“But I am,” Sasuke said. “I know that.”

“You’re not!”

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a long moment, his eyes searching his face for… something. Then he sat back, letting go of Naruto. “I can’t help it,” he said quietly. “I know you miss the old me. The one that would fight you about everything and anything. The one that actually, despite everything, still had something to live for.”

Naruto caressed Sasuke’s hips. He was unsure of what to do. It wasn’t often that Sasuke was this open. “You still have,” Naruto said gently. An expression that Naruto never had seen on Sasuke’s face before, and which he’d gladly never see again, flitted past. For a moment he looked like he’s stared into the deepest, darkest abyss, and found no salvation there. The expression passed quickly, and Sasuke lowered his eyes.

He grabbed one of Naruto’s hands and held it tightly in his. “Naruto,” he said in a soft voice. “You realize that you’re all I’ve got left?”

Naruto felt a lump form in his stomach. “That’s not true,” he said. “You’ve got…” he hesitated, struggling to think of someone… “You’ve got Sarada.”

Sasuke laughed, harsh and sudden. “You got me there,” he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. “Sarada is my daughter only in blood, you know that. Legally, she belongs to Sakura.”

Naruto weighted his next words. He knew he shouldn’t persist about this, he knew how touchy Sasuke was about Sakura, but he couldn’t  _ not _ say anything.

“I’m sure Sakura would be reasonable if-“

“Reasonable?” Sasuke bit out the words. He slid off Naruto and brushed off his hand when he tried to touch him. He scooted a little away and slipped on a black satin robe.

“She made the terms very clear to me,” Sasuke said. “If I divorced her, the child was hers."

“But she lets you see Sarada when you visit-“

“That’s because she likes to pretend that we’re still married. She does it for Sarada’s sake, to make it seem like we’re one happy family.” He scoffed. “But Sarada’s not stupid. She noticed a long time ago that something’s wrong.”

“I’m sure Sakura will come around,” Naruto said in one last attempt to calm Sasuke.

Sasuke just looked at him with complete resignation written on his face. “If you believe that, then you’re more gullible than I thought.” He stood and tightened the robe around his waist. “But I’m not gonna hold my breath waiting for it."

Naruto didn’t follow Sasuke when he went outside, knowing that he needed some time to himself.

Naruto hadn’t realized how fucked up the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura was until after he divorced Hinata and started seeing Sasuke more regularly.

Only then did Sasuke, in bits and pieces, reveal to him the truth. It started off with something that Naruto, as the hokage, had been shocked that he hadn’t heard of before, namely that the birth of Sarada had been to appease the elders. They had insisted that it was Sasuke’s duty to make sure his kekkei genkai was passed on. Thought Sasuke refused at first, he had no real say in the matter. His freedom lay in the hands of the very people he detested, and he had no other choice but to give in to them.

“Sakura was a great comfort to me at that time,” Sasuke had said when he relayed the story to Naruto, and Naruto had felt leaden with guilt. So much had happened at the time of Sasuke’s trials that he rarely had time to see him. Never mind that he had been working night and day to ensure Sasuke’s freedom and safety: he still could have set time off to see him face to face.

“She said she’d carry the child for me,” Sasuke had continued saying. “It was stupid to accept her offer since I knew so well about her feelings for me. But at the time it seemed like the only choice.”

Sasuke and Sakura had gotten hastily married just after Naruto and Hinata’s marriage. It had come as a shock to Naruto. He hadn’t been invited and no one else had been either. Everyone assumed that the hasty marriage was due to an unplanned pregnancy, and Naruto had believed that too. In truth, the marriage had been nothing but a formality to cover over the in vitro conception of their child.

What Naruto found most difficult to wrap his head around, though, was hearing about the way Sakura had acted through it all. As soon as Sasuke had expressed a wish to get a divorce, she had used Sasuke’s guilt against him in order to make him stay. Then, years later when that didn’t work anymore, she had threatened that if he divorced her he would lose the right to see his daughter.

Sasuke did get a divorce in the end. He stayed away from Sakura, and from his daughter, for many years.

“I couldn’t keep playing the dutiful husband anymore. Not when my home felt like a prison,” he had told Naruto once.

“I thought you were still married,” Naruto had said.

“Sakura pretends we are.” Sasuke had noticed Naruto’s confusion and explained, “At first I thought she was toying with me. I got angry and confused, but I played along to see Sarada. After a while I tried to reason with Sakura, but she broke down and cried and said that we had to keep pretending for Sarada’s sake. So I did. That way I at least got to see my daughter.”

Despite hearing about all this, Naruto never stopped believing that Sakura and Sasuke could make it all work out for the better, if only they really talked about it.

Sasuke did not share the same optimism.

Naruto gave Sasuke fifteen minutes before he went out to look for him. Like most other people, Sasuke also needed someone to hold him when he was feeling down, even though he did his best to convince Naruto of the contrary.

Naruto slipped on his blue and orange robe and went out into the garden. A stream ran along the old and rickety fence that framed in the backyard. Naruto found Sasuke sitting on the grassy bank next to that stream. He sat down next to him and put his arm around him. Sasuke leaned his head on Naruto’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

They sat in silence for a long while, until Naruto couldn’t keep ignoring that his toes were freezing and managed to coax Sasuke inside. They huddled together on their futon, underneath the blankets, and fell asleep securely tucked into each other’s arms.

\-----

“It’s my own fault anyway,” Sasuke whispered.

Naruto was only half awake. “Huh?” he asked groggily. The room was dimly illuminated by grey pre-dawn light.

Sasuke was lying with his back to Naruto, his head resting on Naruto’s arm. “I could have fought harder for her,” Sasuke said.

Naruto used a whole minute trying to figure out what Sasuke was talking about. Was he having a dream, or…? Then he remembered their conversation that night, and realization hit him. “You did what you could,” he said.

“No…” Sasuke sighed. “I was a coward. I just ran away… I didn’t think it would impact Sarada this much. But when I saw her again… She’s grown so much. She looks…”

Naruto moved closer to Sasuke, securing his protective hold on him.

“She looks so much like me,” Sasuke whispered. “I had not expected that. I thought… If I stayed away… That she could grow up as a normal person. I hoped that… those eyes…”

“You’re not the problem,” Naruto said. “There’s nothing wrong with you, or with your eyes, or with Sarada. It’s just something people say.”

“Generations of nutcases proves otherwise,” Sasuke bit out.

“Does it? Or does it just prove that in generations, people in your family have had to endure horrible things and been forced to make unspeakable choices?”

Sasuke was quiet for a while. He was breathing harshly, as though he’d just been out running. Naruto caressed his chest in gentle, circular motions. “Remember to breathe,” he murmured.

Sasuke made a conscious effort to slow down his breathing, and soon he eased down a bit.

“All that stuff about the Uchiha curse is just bullshit,” Naruto said. “You were manipulated, just as Itachi was. Sarada is growing up in a safe environment, with lots of people around her who love her. If anything…” Naruto hesitated. “If anything, I’m more worried about Boruto.”

Sasuke turned halfway to look at him. “Why?”

Naruto wasn’t entirely sure how to explain it, but… “He seems angry. And he does things that… It makes me worry. I know I haven’t been a good father, and…”

Sasuke lifted his hand and placed it on Naruto’s cheek. “You did what you could. I’m sure it’s just a phase.”

Naruto nodded. He caressed Sasuke’s wrist. “But I… I forgot his birthday again.”

“Again?”

“Yeah… It was a busy week and... I forgot. And this weekend, I should have been happy I got to spend more time with my kids, but I just…” He bowed his head, resting his forehead against Sasuke’s shoulder. “I’m such a shitty person. I’m… I’m horrible.”

“Hey…” Sasuke turned around so that he could cradle Naruto in his arm and tuck his head under his chin.

“Fuck… Sasuke… I care more about all the orphans in the nation than about my own kids. I know that… The things I do, I’m doing it to ensure their future. To make sure they don’t have to live like me, or you. But I often wonder if… Maybe the best way to ensure their future is to be there with them.”

Sasuke caressed the back of Naruto’s head.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s probably true, but as the hokage you don’t really have that choice.”

He kissed Naruto’s temple. “You’re doing a great job as a hokage, and a… not that great job as a father, but you know… Some people are just shitty fathers without a reason. So, all things considered, you’re doing pretty well.”

Naruto let out his breath. He hadn’t even been aware he was holding it. “Let’s stop this,” he said. “Sasuke… We have to stop this.” He pulled away from Sasuke and looked down at him. “We have to stop beating ourselves up. We made mistakes and we were put in difficult situations. It’s just… It’s life. It’s not supposed to be perfect.”

The look Sasuke gave him had a soft, dejected sadness to it. He turned away from Naruto. “It’s too late anyway,” he muttered.

“Sasuke…” Naruto reached out to him, but Sasuke sat up, ignoring it.

“Let’s make breakfast,” he said. “What do you want?”

Naruto considered whether he should insist that they talk more, or go along with Sasuke’s wish to focus on something else. He ended up with the latter.

“We only have rice.”

“And sake...”

“Eh… Isn’t that a bit too early?”

Sasuke put the bottle away. “I guess so.”

They ate breakfast outside. Rice and some apples from the tree in the yard. Despite the fact that it was far from a special meal, it tasted wonderful.

“How long can you stay?” Sasuke asked as they lay back in the grass, watching the clouds drift by on the wide, blue sky.

“Well… I have an important meeting tomorrow…”

“Early?”

“No… I guess I could get back in time for it if I leave early tomorrow morning.”

They went fishing, splashing around in the river with their pants folded up to their knees, feeling like they were thirteen again. Sasuke almost slipped and Naruto got the bright idea of starting a water-war.

They both got thoroughly drenched as a result.

As a bonus, Naruto caught Sasuke staring at his chest in the drenched, see-through white t-shirt, and suddenly he didn’t feel so insecure about his body anymore.

They hung their clothes up to dry in the warm breeze once they came back to the house. They ate out in the sun, in the shade of some trees, and spent the afternoon talking about old days, when they still were young and stupid and a little more carefree.

Naruto was grateful to see a small smile on Sasuke’s face when he teased him about their first kiss.

“I thought you did it on purpose,” Sasuke said.

“What?!”

“To spite me or something.” Sasuke chuckled. “I wouldn’t have put it past you.”

“It was that idiot on the desk behind me! He-!”

Sasuke snorted. “You call him an idiot? What about the idiot that got up in my face in the first place?”

“I was pissed off at you!”

“And what was your plan? To stare me to death?”

Naruto sputtered.

“Are you sure you weren’t secretly liking it?” Sasuke said with a smirk.

Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “Back then? Nope.”

“Tch… I bet, if you did some soul searching…”

“What about you?” Naruto asked, desperate to put the search light on Sasuke. “You said you thought it was on purpose. Did you secretly hope for a confession?” He wriggled his eyebrows. “Hey! Is that why you saved me on that bridge?”

“ _ That _ bridge? You got a fucking bridge named after you, and you can’t even remember its name?”

“You know what I mean!”

“I’m not sure I do.”

“Don’t be like that…” Naruto pouted. “Did you or did you not save me because you loved me?”

“I saved you because I had a moment of bad decision-making. Obviously.”

Naruto poked Sasuke’s side, and Sasuke recoiled with an indignant, high-pitched sound.

Naruto burst out laughing. “Omg, was that a…?”

“Shut up.” Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand, which was aiming for his side again. His ears were turning red.

“Aww… I think it’s cute that you’re ticklish,” Naruto said.

“I’m not… Hey! Stop that! Naruto!”

“Not unless you admit that you loved me even then!”

“Ah! No, don’t… Naruto, I’m warning you!”

Naruto just laughed as he tussled with Sasuke in the grass. He already had him underneath him; Sasuke wasn’t even putting up a proper fight, and now he was laughing as Naruto’s fingers feathered up his sides.

“Ahaha! Stop, Naruto! No – haha!”

“Admit it!”

Sasuke squirmed and managed to grab one of Naruto’s hands, but not the other, which disappeared in under his robe.

“Ha- Ah- Okay, okay!”

Naruto stopped tickling, but didn’t let go of Sasuke.

“I loved you even then,” Sasuke said, his voice unexpectedly soft. “I just didn’t know it.”

Naruto should have felt triumphant, but instead he felt… humbled. “I loved you too, you know,” he said, leaning over Sasuke. “But I didn’t know what it was either. I just knew that… There was something about you. I couldn’t  _ not _ watch you, or  _ not _ think about you.” He eased down between Sasuke’s legs. They weren’t wearing any clothes underneath the robes, and as they were riding up, they touched skin on skin.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either,” Sasuke admitted. “You were always in the back of my mind, somehow.” He ran his hand through Naruto’s hair, picking out a leaf and a few strands of grass.

Naruto rocked his hips gently against Sasuke and kissed the hollow of his throat. Sasuke was warm and relaxed, and Naruto could taste the sweat on his skin. He felt desire course through him like a warm, inviting current.

“I want to have sex with you again,” Naruto said. “I want to…” He didn’t know how to explain it with words. He just wanted to be completely part of Sasuke. To feel a deeper connection with him in the physical sense too. “I want to make it good for you,” he said instead. 

“It’s up to you,” Sasuke reminded him. “Though, I thought old men didn’t have such a problem with holding out.”

“I’m not any older than you! Actually,  _ you’re _ older than  _ me _ ! What does that say about you, huh?”

“What can I say? Some people age like fine wine, and others-” Sasuke didn’t get to finish the sentence because Naruto was attacking him with his tickly fingers again, spurring him into a laughing fit.

“I dare you to finish that sentence,” Naruto said.

“Hm… I’ll give you a hint: it had something to do with milk.”

Naruto pouted. “Am I really that ugly now?”

Sasuke cupped his cheek. “No. You know I’m just teasing. You look great, except that you seem really tired.”

Naruto lowered his eyes. Sasuke was right. He felt exhausted most of the time. He looked at Sasuke’s dark hair that lay sprawled on the grass, and plucked away something. “There are ants in your hair,” Naruto said.

“Ugh…” Sasuke brushed his hand through his hair. “I thought I felt something crawl. There’s some on you too.” He brushed one away from Naruto’s shoulder.

They went inside and Sasuke took off his robe and shook it free of any stray ants. Naruto sat down by the fire pit and kindled the flames, but his eyes were on Sasuke.

“Don’t put it back on.”

Sasuke turned towards him, his robe in his hand, about to slip it back on. He cocked his head minutely, watching Naruto with the shadow of an amused smile. Naruto motioned for him to come over, and after a moment of hesitation, he did. Or rather, he sauntered. Naruto envied him the ability to be so secure in his own body.

Still kneeling, Naruto touched Sasuke’s hips, watching hungrily as Sasuke’s cock started filling out. He ran his parted lips over the tip before nuzzling Sasuke’s stomach.

Sasuke kneeled and reached down towards Naruto’s lap. Naruto watched as Sasuke untied his robe and slid it off his shoulders. Then he gently pushed Naruto backwards down on the futon and straddled him.

“All out?” he asked.

Naruto nodded. He ran his hands up Sasuke’s sides, caressing his warm skin while Sasuke teased him by rocking ever so slightly back against his achingly hard cock.

“Lube?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke leaned over and fetched it from where it had been dropped on the floor last night. This time, Naruto took the lube from Sasuke’s hand and placed it on the futon.

“Just a minute… I was thinking. Want to try something new?”

Sasuke looked skeptical.

“It’s not anything weird,” Naruto said, knowing that Sasuke not always was so happy about the things Naruto would suggest in bed. He was surprisingly vanilla, though Naruto didn’t mind. Any type of sex with Sasuke was good sex.

“It’s just a relaxation technique,” Naruto added. “I’ve been taking classes in meditation because I’ve been so stressed out at work. Hinata made me do it after I forgot to pick up our kids the third time in a row… Anyway, it really works and I thought… We’re always so wound up when we meet, and we never have much time together. We should make the most of the time we have, and just… relax more. Then, maybe…”

“Maybe I’ll loosen up?”

Naruto blushed. “Uh, well…”

He felt Sasuke shift and feared that he was leaving, but he just changed his position, sitting down heavier on Naruto’s stomach.

“It’s worth a try,” he said.

“Okay!” Naruto said, relieved that Sasuke wasn’t offended. “It’s all about breathing. Just… Just pretend you’re getting into the same frame of mind as when you have to perform a really difficult mission, right? Like, your body relaxes and you go into a more focused mode. Your mind quiets and you breathe through your whole body, slowly…”

He could already feel Sasuke relaxing.

He ran his hands up Sasuke’s sides and closed his eyes. He focused on his breathing and tried to keep it as even as possible.

He heard Sasuke’s breathing get deeper and slower too, and once he deemed him relaxed enough, he gently urged him to bend down until he was lying against Naruto’s chest. Naruto uncapped the lube and squeezed some into his hand, and then he slowly went to work on loosening Sasuke.

With one finger he sought out his prostate, and rubbed it till Sasuke’s breathing became shallower and he started squirming slightly.

It was unusual that they took their time doing this. Usually they were in such a heated frenzy that they barely had time for more than a blowjob. That was satisfying too, but Naruto missed having something more together with Sasuke.

“I wish I could stay longer,” he murmured as he gently slid in another finger.

Sasuke’s breath hitched as Naruto stretched him open wider.

“Then do,” he said.

Naruto nuzzled his temple as he slid his two fingers in past the second knuckle. Sasuke started rocking his hips ever so slightly. His breathing came in short pants.

“Does this feel different than yesterday?” Naruto said.

It took a moment before Sasuke answered. “Y-yes. Ah…!”

Naruto pulled out both fingers and tried again with three. Sasuke rolled his hips, pressing his stomach hard down on their cocks and pulling a soft groan from the both of them. He hid his face against the side of Naruto’s neck, but his body spoke for itself. It turned rigid and soft at the same time; straining against Naruto’s fingers but at the same time molding into his hold. Naruto caressed Sasuke’s waist and ass. Sasuke’s breath was hot against his throat.

Suddenly he spoke. “That’s enough.”

Naruto stopped what he was doing. “Are you sure?”

Sasuke rose up on one arm. “Yeah. Condom.”

He looked around for his bag. Naruto reached up to his left, where he was certain he’d seen it last, and pulled it out from beneath the sheets. He fumbled with the packet of condoms and ripped off one before opening the little foil packet with his teeth. Sasuke grabbed it impatiently and slid it on to Naruto’s cock.

Naruto bit his bottom lip as Sasuke stroked him once. For a moment they just stared at each other.

“Hop on,” Naruto said, and much to his amusement he saw the tips of Sasuke’s ears turned pink.

“Stop saying that,” Sasuke muttered. He slid off Naruto and stretched out next to him.

Naruto just stared at him. “What are you doing? I thought you were riding me.”

“No,” Sasuke said in the kind of tone that left no room for argument.

“But… Whaat? Come on…”

“No,” Sasuke repeated even more fiercely. “I… I can’t.”

Naruto propped himself up on his elbow. “Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“If it’s about that ‘hop on’ comment…”

“It’s not! Just… Don’t push it, okay? Not now. I was enjoying it, and… I want to continue doing that.”

Though Naruto wanted to argue more, he didn’t. This was in some way about one of Sasuke’s many, most of them yet unknown to Naruto, insecurities when it came to sex. They had been doing great so far, and Naruto was determined to be more considerate towards Sasuke than he had been yesterday, so he got on top of Sasuke.

They kissed for a bit, caressing each other and rocking together in a gentle rhythm, before Naruto got some more lube and positioned his cock against Sasuke’s asshole.

“Relax,” he whispered and touched Sasuke’s waist with his free hand. “Breathe.”

Sasuke closed his eyes and calmed himself a bit, until his body relaxed so that Naruto could push gently inside.

Naruto kissed Sasuke again as he rocked his hips slowly, sinking a little deeper for each shallow thrust. He felt Sasuke’s small gasps against his lips more than he heard them. He put one hand on Sasuke’s neck, and felt his muscles strain as he reacted to each small movement that Naruto made.

“Ahh…”

That one, first, proper groan lodged itself deep in Naruto’s stomach and spread slowly, like warm honey.

“S’good,” Naruto mumbled. “So good, Sas’ke…”

He felt Sasuke twitch as he suddenly sank deeper inside of him.

“Hah… Naru…”

Sasuke suddenly kissed Naruto deeply. His fingers entwined in Naruto’s hair, pulling lightly. Naruto moaned. He rolled his hips and suddenly he just slid deeply inside of Sasuke. He groaned. It felt so damned good.

Sasuke made a half-choked sound.

“Sorry,” Naruto murmured, stopping. “Sorry.”

“Idiot,” Sasuke gasped. “Don’t stop. You were doing something right for once.”

“Oh… Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Sasuke said and kissed him. “I was partially joking.”

“Riiight,” Naruto breathed.

Sasuke tightened around his cock, soft and scorching hot. Sasuke tilted his head back and Naruto kissed his throat. He rolled his hips, and Naruto choked out a moan.

This was bliss. This was… Fuck.

He pulled back carefully, so that he wouldn’t risk slipping entirely out. It felt so heavenly to be buried so deeply inside of him. It seemed impossible that something could be so good, and yet it was happening. He thrust in, and Sasuke gasped. It was a choked out sound, forced from him despite his best efforts to keep it down.

Now that Naruto knew that it was a sign that he was doing something right, he let himself get consumed by the need to hear that sound again. He stayed deep inside of Sasuke, enjoying the gentle pulsation and soft squeeze around his cock, and just pulled out minutely before shoving himself deep inside again, as deep as he could possibly come.

Sasuke’s nails were digging into his back. Another deep gasp was wrenched from his chest. His legs, which earlier had been locked tight around Naruto, were now sprawled wide. Sasuke’s body seemed to impulsively go lax, as though the only way he could really get Naruto as close as he needed was to just give his body over completely.

Feeling how willing Sasuke was, Naruto started thrusting harder and quicker. He held himself up, his body as tight as a bowstring, every muscle coiled as he focused every fiber of his being on Sasuke’s pleasure.

Sasuke’s eyes were wide open. He stared up at Naruto with a mixture of bliss and surprise. A small wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows. His breath came out in quick, rapid bursts, and he reached up, gabbing the back of Naruto’s neck, trying to pull him closer.

Naruto was leaning on rigid arms, and though he wanted to kiss Sasuke, the need to watch him was stronger. He watched him as Sasuke unraveled, layer by layer, until he gave himself over completely.

“Fuck,” Naruto gasped harshly. “S-Sasuke.”

Sasuke was muttering incomprehensibly, his legs drawn up and spread wide. 

“G-goddammit… Close…”

Naruto moaned. He shifted and thrust harder, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.

Sasuke keened. He fucking keened, and his face… Naruto was unable to look away from him, and Sasuke stared just as intently at him, his eyes not wavering for a moment.

“Fuck, I love you,” Naruto groaned through gritted teeth.

Sasuke made a soft, wet sound and a spasm shot through his body. He closed his eyes tight, groaning through his teeth, and shoved his ass up against Naruto.

Naruto stopped by some deeply ingrained instinct, buried deep inside Sasuke, and thrust gently. Sasuke’s eyelids fluttered. They stayed like that for a moment. Naruto was breathing heavily, his arms shaking from the strain, his mind a bit woozy. Then he pulled out to a soft hiss from Sasuke.

“Wow,” Naruto muttered, dazed. “I, uh… You came before me.”

Sasuke rolled over onto his side, panting. His eyes were still closed. Naruto sat there with his cock still raging hard and wondered what to do next. He slid the condom off and threw it into the fire.

He spooned Sasuke, placing an arm around him. Sasuke entwined his fingers with his.

“I think I’ve never felt like that before,” Sasuke muttered. “Not that strongly…”

“Me neither…”

“You didn’t come…” Sasuke reached behind himself, touching Naruto’s hip and then his cock, lightly, only with his fingertips. “Were you close?”

“Mhm…”

Sasuke encircled Naruto’s cock with his fingers and ran his hand from base to tip. He jutted his ass out, rubbing the tip against one cheek. Naruto gasped into Sasuke’s hair. He rocked his hips, his cock sliding against the cleft of Sasuke’s ass while Sasuke continued to jerk him off, quicker and firmer until Naruto seized up and clutched him close, coming against the small of his back.

“Fuck,” Naruto gasped.

He clutched Sasuke’s chest, running his hand up to his collarbone. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” He whispered.

“Yeah,” Sasuke said. “I think I do, if it’s even half as strong as what I feel for you.”

It was one of the few times Sasuke ever indicated with words what he felt. Naruto unexpectedly felt like crying. He swallowed thickly, several times, and knew that Sasuke understood by the way he gently rubbed circles into the back of his hand, never attempting to push Naruto with questions.

“Are we doomed?” Naruto whispered.

For a long while Sasuke didn’t answer.

“One day…” he said at last. “We will perhaps know what happiness is for more than a few moments at a time.”

Naruto nuzzled the back of Sasuke’s neck. “I’m looking forward to it.”


End file.
